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Blame Nader; it's his fault By ÜberMike <11-10-00>
I can hear it coming: "It's Nader's fault that Bush is the president" or, if Gore manages to win, "Because Nader stole Gore's votes, we had such a close race that we almost lost." So it goes. However, these angry Gore supporters are looking for the wrong scapegoat. It is not the duty of the Green Party to resign its candidacy because people are starting to get tired of the standard duopoly of Democrats and Republicans. Instead, if Bush does become president, blame the folks who voted for him. 

     How can anybody be gullible enough to elect this man to the highest position of the American government? He got into Yale not because he had crappy grades, but because his family had connections. When he tried out the oil business in Texas, he utterly failed; only to be bailed out by his former-president dad. Then Bush bought Junior a baseball team. This is a man who thinks 'subliminable' is a word. Here's a memorable quote: "The federal government is treating social security like it's some kind of federal program!" Maybe...because Social Security is a federal program! Is this the kind of man who deserves to be president of the United States? If you watched the presidential debates you probably had no idea what Bush stands for. I found out his stances on issues through research on the internet. 

     This "passionate conservative" (which is oxymoronic by the way) thinks that it is a good idea to let people take their life savings and invest it in the stock market and taking selected kids out of schools and giving them vouchers. He had poor grades, failed in everything he did, creates words out of thin air, doesn't know anything about the government he's going to be leading, has disastrous plans for our country, and is 'out of it' on world affairs. So to all of you Gore supporters, don't blame Nader, blame your neighbor who voted for a half-witted candidate. 


Irrational i Proposed by Mr. E  <11-10-00>
Now, time for a math lesson. Yes, we all hated Algebra, but who knew it could be fun (err...interesting)? Here's the problem: It isn't possible to take the square root of a negative number of the real numbers system; however, if we extend this into the imaginary numbering system, we can. 
Ex. Square root of -1 is 'i' and square root of -4 is '2i'. Simple enough, but what is the square root of 'i'? We have asked many people and gotten many propositions, so if you think you know it, tell us. (By the way, we know the answer, so if it's bugging you, we'll put up the answer soon.)


Riddle me this, riddle me that Proposed by ÜberMike  <11-10-00>
I was talking to a classmate recently, and he asked me an interesting question. Here it is: there are 3 words in the English language that end in 'gry'. Two of them being 'angry' and 'hungry'. What's the third one? I can't figure it out and I'm not even sure if there is a third word. He says there is but he doesn't actually know it, but a friend of his knows it (that's the way it always is). Anyways, if you think you know it or know that there is no third word that ends in 'gry', email us. Although we cannot offer you a cash prize, we will idolize you on this website as long as people care.


Filthy Crap  By Mr. E  <11-10-00>
The world has always wondered things in its past. The most significant of these is why snot is green. The "experts" say that the color of the bacteria causes the green color, but but my personal experiments prove
otherwise. My first experiment was to use my nasal excrements and a rubber band and fling snot onto my wall to see if anything separates the mucus. The outcome of this experiment was that the snot was already solid, and exploded on contact with the wall  and all the small parts clung. This made it most impossible to rub out of the wall. Since it was hard to rub off the wall, the only other thing hard to clean off walls that I remember is crayon. So, in essence, it can be concluded that snot is green because it is composed of green (or mixture of yellow and blue) crayons.


Stealing the Literary Magazine's readers By ÜberMike  <11-10-00>
For those of you who attend Walton High School, you may be familiar with the new Literary Magazine that is over there. They started that about a couple of months ago and they are trying to make it big. However, we had the idea of creating the online version of The Commoner's Newsletter long before them, and I believe that they are treading on our territory. I have nothing against them except for the fact that they will be stealing some of our readers; and as the saying goes, "There is no honor among thieves." The Commoner's is a lot better than the Lit Magazine for many reasons: Because we are not a club or even affiliated with Walton in any way except for the fact that we go there, we can print whatever we please (As long as its within the rules of our service provider). At the Lit Magazine, you have to go through a lot of teachers and sponsors before they let you print something, and they probably won't let you say how you exactly feel about something, especially if it's controversial. I mean, how much phony feel-good-clean-cut poetry/fictional stories can a person take? Also, I think the crew over here offers a refreshing new range of articles that you won't find at school.  Although the Lit Magazine has more power, influence, and resources than we do, we have the sharper minds (I know I'm being an idiot for saying that). Besides, everyone likes the underdog right? My goal would be to keep this an underground phenomenon (or, more likely, just underground), and create a substantial fan base where you guys can enjoy this site and make this one of your favorite websites. Just like the Literary Magazine without the bureaucracy. Now, about the Quill and Saber (now called the Centurion)....


Green Jello By ÜberMike <11-16-00>
So the election is over and Gore and Bush are in a deadlock; and to the dismay of many, the Green Party did not receive 5% of the national votes to get governmental funding for the next election and respect as a legitimate third party. So Nader may be the Green Party candidate again for the next election, but a viable outside choice is Jello Biafra who came in second in the Green Party's nomination for presidential candidate. And yes, his name is Jello Biafra. He was born Eric Boucher and as one website dedicated to him puts it, "He was born in Boulder, Colorado, near the home of the Ramsey family (so far he has not been identified as a suspect)". He changed his name because he liked the way "Jello" sounded with "Biafra", once a war-torn territory in Africa that separated from Nigeria. In 1978, Biafra formed the seminal Californian punk band, the Dead Kennedys. With a name such as that and songs with titles  like "Kill the Poor", "Holiday in Cambodia", and "Let's Lynch the Landlord", it was obvious that they relied heavily on satire and sarcasm to attack such easy targets as conscription, nuclear and chemical warfare, media cover-ups, and international affairs with a bit of dark humor thrown in for good measure. They were one of the defining underground bands of the '70s and '80s and in the eyes of Christian fundamentalists and right-wing conservatives, one of the most dangerous. At about this time, Biafra took his pranks even further when he ran for Mayor of San Francisco in 1978. His platform included letting bums and vagrants public access to empty buildings, forcing businessmen to wear clown suits during work hours, holding auctions for high-level city governmental positions, banning cars in the city, and creating a board of bribery to handle issues around the city. Striking a chord in the public's mind with his satire, he was placed fourth out of ten candidates, causing a runoff. Meanwhile, the Dead Kennedys faired well in the underground scene in America and the UK until they released the album "Frankenchrist" which would mark the Dead Kennedys' downfall. They were charged with distributing harmful material to minors in a foldout poster in their album that was deemed obscene. They were taken to court, only to be acquitted in a long and drawn out trial. Tensions mounted in the band and after their final album "Bedtime for Democracy", they broke up. 

     Biafra chose the path of political and social activist, championing Free Speech rights in the '80s and
was often at odds with Tipper Gore in issues about musical lyrics. In the '90s, Biafra represented a (very unorthodox) Renaissance man: He was busy running his own independent record label, Alternative Tentacles, which he formed because no record labels would touch his Dead Kennedys work; he made guest appearances on Oprah and Politically Incorrect, only to be censored and boohed routinely; He teamed up with bands to release incredible albums and toured while he focused on doing spoken word albums on any and all political and social issues. In 2000, he was nominated for the Green Party candidacy, and after receiving tremendous backing, he finished second only to Ralph Nader. So here is a man who has exceeded all boundaries, shaken up the system, and created a name for himself (pun unintended). Just think of all the fun pranks and refreshing views on today's problems we could have if Biafra was elected as president for the next election....

The Commoner's Presidential Poll
Here's a look at who each staff member would have voted for in the Presidential race. (If only it turned out this way.) By the way, we won't tell you who voted for who, you figure it out.

Presidential Candidate


% of votes

George Bush (Republican)



Al Gore (Democrat)



Ralph Nader (Green Party)



David McReynolds (Socialist)






Projected Winner:     Ralph Nader (Green Party)



The Guns of America By Will  <11-10-00>
People often say that you are 43 times more likely to be killed in your home than an intruder is if you own a gun and someone breaks into your house. This is quite plainly a foul and offensive lie concocted by gun control advocates. On this note we begin in attempt to defeat gun control. Freedom is a historical trend: In the ancient world of despotism one was free. In the classical and feudal world some were free, and in the modern world most are free. It is thus alarming to see the amount of people in this country who would unwittingly discard the heard-earned privilege of freedom by renouncing their right to arms. For in the words of Thomas Jefferson, the Right to bear arms (rtba) is the "linchpin of a free society - that which servers all other freedoms."  Further more, gun control has been a basic element of autocratic tyranny throughout history. The rtba has been, and still is an integral part of democratic theory - I quote from the constitution: "being necessary to the security of a free the right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.." Therefore any negation on the second amendment would defeat the purpose of the constitution.

     A 17th century English philosopher by the name of John Locke is considered the first democratic theorist in the west. In his work Two Treatises of Government he introduces the idea that people enter into a "social contract" with a government to protect it (i.e. democracy). He also states that the people reserve the right to overthrow this government if it becomes ineffective or unrepresentative in its career. Does this not become impossible with gun control? Does gun control not force the shift of power from the many to the few? Despite these warning signs, there are still those who believe that gun control is the answer to the problems in today's society. If heed is paid to these stalwarts, the future looms dark indeed for the American patriot. For without arms who will oppose the degeneration of this country into the "United Police State of America'? Who will then oppose this proud, free country becoming "Leviathan"? The right to keep and bear private arms is vital to preserve a good, fare state and human society. It is found on the same basis of individual responsibility for the whole as is freedom of expression. So thus go and defeat gun control, for if not, consider this question: Who will control the governments guns when they kick at your front door? It will be too late! Who will know then? Let them know now!


5.828 By Greg Leo  <11-10-00>
Let me start by explaining some basic things about triangular numbers. Lets say we have an equilateral triangle.

   O O       Just pretend its equilateral
 O O O
O O O O        Notice there are 4 units on the bottom.  We call this the Base Number

Now lets count up    4 + 3 + 2 + 1 = 10   (this is the triangular number). So the triangular number for the Base Number 4 is 10. So what I was trying to find were triangular numbers which were also perfect squares.

For example base number 8:

            O O
          O O O
        O O O O
      O O O O O
    O O O O O O
  O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O   Our base number here is 36... a perfect square

My original program would check every integer in ascending order for a triangular  perfect square.
So something like this:

Here is how you calculate the triangular number from the base number.

(B^2+B)/2 = Triangular Number

Here are some of the number I had calculated

Base          Triangular

1                  1
8                  36
49                1225    (one of those elusive double perfect squares 49 and 1225 are perfect)
288              41616
1681            1413721
9800            48024900
57121          1631432881
332928        55420693056
1940449      1882672131030

Let's throw out some of those lower base numbers  1, 8 ,49, 288
Lets divide some base numbers to look for a pattern.

On further calculation we have concluded that this number never drops below 5.828 and further calculation will provide a more accurate  number. So each base number we multiply my 5.828 to find the approximate Next base number with a perfect square triangle.

I'd like some help with this so if you have a fast computer or some insight please contact us. 


-Amazing E-  By Mr. E <11-16-00>
Mr. E got Mastermind on thespark.com personality test
Click on it to find out what you are.
S.I.A.T.=Submissive Introverted Abstract Thinker



-A Moron's Guide to the Inside of a Computer-  By Mr. E <11-12-00>
ThiS is the DefinitivE GuidE for the ComputeR MoroN.
(Warning! Reading this means you agree to
Mr. E.'s "'Can't Sue Me for Taking Me Seriously' Agreement")
When you open up your computer, don't be scared. All the wires and those other little shiny things can't hurt you. The first thing to know is to cut the plastic insulation from the wires going to the 'Shiny Metal Box' where the 'Black Wire going to Wall' plugs in. Once this is done, set one of your hands onto the shiny stuff that was under the insulation. This lets all your dangerous electricity in your body not hurt the computer. Next, use one of your feet to kick the little black square thing that has shiny wires sticking out like it was a spider. When you kick this, it kills it, so it can bite you and kill you with it's dangerous venom, since it is a spider. If you already got bit, you can eat it and it will heal you. One of long dull grey wires is useful for a nice belt. So if you need a belt, you can take one of these. The computer should be able to work fine without them. That's all for now. Maybe I'll teach you somemore later.



The Arthurian Symphony  By the Archbishop  <11-12-00>
The process that I am describing here is no ordinary thing; not a hobby, nor a passing craze, but an art form in and of itself. I present to you: How to seduce your half-brother and bear him an illegitimate child, which will eventually force the collapse of your half-brothers empire. The first step is to make sure you have an unsuspecting half-brother and that he has an empire. The next step is to procure yourself a Spancel, an odd object quite unlike any other in its power. White describes it as " a less cruel piece of magic than the black cat had been, but more gruesome than a tape made of human skin." (305-306) The next part of the plan is to sneak into the half-brother's room at night and tie the Spancel around him in a bow, making sure he does not wake, for if he does he will die within the year. When he awakes, he will be passionately in love with you. After this you must sleep with him and become pregnant. Nine months later you will give birth to an illegitimate child who you will raise with malice and anger towards his father. You will raise him to spite his father and how to lead an uprising. Once this is completed, the last step is to unleash this monstrosity upon the world, as one would release the plague upon a group of children. After this crucial step, you do nothing. Just sit back and enjoy the mayhem and chaos caused by your own offspring. Be content and vengeance will be yours, at least until one of your other sons kills you.


Pulp Fiction By ÜberMike <11-19-00>
I recently saw "Pulp Fiction" on t.v., and although I've already seen it before, I don't think I appreciated it as much as I did this time. Even though this movie is a bit old (1994), the reason why I am writing a review of it now is because I'm sure that many of you have not seen it and are missing out on a great film. This movie was a follow-up to "Resevoir Dogs" that established Quentin Tarantino as a respectable indie-film maker (speaking of....where'd he go?) True to it's title, Pulp Fiction pays homage to the pulp fiction culture of the 40's and 50's, cheap 10 cent magazines filled with sleazy violence, language, sex, and gangsters. The movie is basically a collection of three tales revolving around the lives of criminals. It is non-linear, which is a refreshing break from conventional movies (If you don't know what non-linear means, basically it's when something doesn't follow in the sequence of orders that it should in order to make logical sense.) The tales are told out of order, but that just adds to the ironic fun and humor (Case in point: Vincent Vegas fate - i.e. in the end he's leaving the restaurant, but recall earlier that he gets killed with his own gun) Some critics have said that the movie has no plot, but that's exactly it. It just goes through the action-packed lives of two-bit criminals and how they cross paths with other sneaky criminals. In all three tales, you will laugh your head off. But this isn't in a comical way - this film is a black comedy. You know, the kind where you are tricked into laughing at the worst times in the movie when you know you are supposed serious. The ironic and satirical moments in this movie are endless. The great moments in the movie are filled with pop culture, philosophical, and societal references that gives the movie it's sauve wit. Tarantino does a great job with producing an indie movie with a hoard of big movie stars - John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Harvey Keitel, Christopher Walken, Uma Thurman, and Bruce Willis. Some people say that this movie single-handedly revived Travolta's career; I wouldn't know because I don't keep up with him. But Christopher Warren and Harvey Keitel are hilariously superb in their cameos in this movie. The musical soundtrack to this movie is great also - the surf music fits in very well with the movie and the acting. Overall, a great alternative movie that dwells in the world of underground criminals that deserves to be seen by all. 3 out of 4 stars.

(FYI - If you like this movie, check out "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", a British film that has non-stop action and humor in the "root-for-the-bad-guy" style that Tarantino popularized.)


3+2*2^(1/2) By Greg Leo  <11-10-00>

Stay with me here this is still a work in progress.
For now here is the formula im still trying to find an easy way to explain this. If you have not read 5.828 plese read that now.
N = the square triangular
K = the nth solution you are attempting to find

They were Kung-Fu Fighting By ÜberMike <11-21-00>
Let's face it - Arnold Schwarzenegger is a has-been. So is Stallone along with many other tough men of Hollywood. Recently, a slew of Asians have invaded Hollywood, bringing eastern martial arts to the big screen: Jackie Chan; Jet Li; various martial arts choreographers. Even big Hollywood stars have adopted martial arts as the means of violence for pleasing movie fans (like Keanu Reeves in the Matrix, the female cast of Charlie's Angels, Jean Claude Van Damme, etc.) Where did this all start? Back in the 60's and 70's With one scrawny, cocky, Chinese guy, Bruce Lee. He was the epitome of bodily fitness, experimenting with some pretty weird stuff to mold his body into a martial arts killing machine. You know what I'm talking about; not that sissy fake Kung Fu stuff that you see on the Olympics. I'm talking about the real deal with Bruce Lee somersaulting into a flying dragon kick into 3 guys at once, all the while punching two guys in the face, sending them into instant paralysis. It happened in every movie. In fact, that's part of the formula for making Kung-Fu movies. I'll let you in on the process: First, we meet the protagonist, who is a devout pacifist who does not believe in fighting for personal causes (seriously, what's the point of learning Kung-Fu if you can't use it to beat somebody up for the fun of it?) Then, one of the bad guys insults/abuses/kills a family member/friend of the protagonist. Third, the protagonist goes on a self-defensive killing rampage until he kills the amount of bad guys equal to the amount of people who live in Luxembourg. Then he repents what he did until the next bad guy does the exact same thing. So its not the best plot, but you don't watch Kung-Fu movies for the plot. You watch for the moments in between with the deadly dance of artful punches and kicks that ceases to amaze. You know you love it, you can't get enough of it. So while you finish reading this article, I'm going to be watching my Matrix tape in slo-mo, and you can be sure that the next time I'm in a fight, I'll be using some of those superhuman jumps and death-inducing punches just like Neo.



Answers to the riddles By ÜberMike <11-17-00>
So we have taken down the two riddles, "Irrational i" and "Riddle me this, riddle me that" and everyone is itching for the answers. For "Irrational i", the answer seems to .75 + .75i. How you may ask, I don't know, but apparently Mr. E found out on his TI-86 calculator. If you have an advanced graphing calculator or something similar, it will probably tell you. If you still don't understand, try asking your math teacher or someone you know who is smarter than you. For the second riddle, it seems I told the riddle wrong, but it's not my fault because it was told to me wrong. Anyways, there are many archaic old English words that end in 'gry' but not any that anyone today uses. The real answer to the riddle is like a punch line to a joke but I don't remember what. You can readily find the answer to the riddle on tons of websites - just type in 'gry' in any search engine such as Yahoo! and you will get a bunch of sites dedicated to the riddle. Hope you had fun figuring those out, and if you missed the riddles, go to the
Archives page to read them. 

Update by Mr. E : Sorry, for the confusion, but the answer is (.5)(2^.5)+(.5)(2^.5)i
Let's check this out..
[[(.5)(2^.5)+(.5)(2^.5)i]*[(.5)(2^.5)+(.5)(2^.5)i]] <- FOIL this
.25(2)+.25(2)i+.25(2)i+.25(2)(i^2) <- i^2=-1
i <--- HEY! We ended up with i! Oh, and Mr. Fillmore i^2.5 is not acceptable, since it is not in complex number form!



Contest! Win money! (Really!) By ÜberMike <11-27-00>
To stir up some interest at this website, I've decided to reach down into my pocket and provide you guys with a chance to express yourselves here and also earn some money for doing it (because I know people will do some dumb stuff for money). So get ready to earn $2 (in case I made a typo, that said "two" dollars)! Actually, I have created 2 different contests each with a prize of $1, so if you enter both contests you can earn 2 easy bucks. Whoever wins (and the Commoner's staff will decide who) will have to pick up the money from me, and you better do it quickly, unless I accidently spend the money on other stuff like lunch or something.

So here it is: 1) Define and give the part of speech (i.e. noun, verb, etc.) of the word "Hajir". There is a correct answer, so you will have to get the part of speech and its definition right. And don't bother looking it up in the dictionary because its a name, not a real word (at least I don't think it is).
2) Create your own unique definition of the word "Hajir" and tell us what it means and use it in a sentence. Those are the contests so get on it!

Now, on to the rules of the game. 1) If you are a member of the Commoner's crew or are a friend of Hajir, you are not allowed to participate in this game.
2) You must go to Walton HS, because I'm not wiring money or sending a check to some random person (by the way, I SWEAR I will pay up; I'm trust-worthy...really).
3) This game will end next Monday, so you have 1 week to hurry up and get your definitions in.
4) This contest is basically just a cheap ploy to get you people to email us once in a while. We have a lot of people visiting the website (about 80 people everyday if you wanted to know), but no one seems to want to email us - except 'Mr. Fillmore', but that was basically an email insulting Mr. E so that doesn't count. Even after Greg created the Beautiful people party for everyone to go to, after three days, still no emails. So here's our latest scheme for us to receive some feedback from our readers.
That's all. Have fun and most important of all, EMAIL US!


Win your chance to come to the Beautiful people party By Greg Leo <11-24-00>
For beautiful people only.

I'm happy to inform you that the Commoners will be hosting a "Beautiful People Party" very soon. If you would like to attend plese tell us why you are a beautiful person(in 10 words or less because Mr. E. a.k.a. Mike Yin gets tired after 10 words).


A perfect world By Greg Leo <11-24-00>
I recently came up with plans for the almost perfect world. First off let me tell you about my theory.
There are basically 3 types of people:

Type A: Those who try to save time.

Type B: Those who get in our way.

Type C: Those who think they are saving time but are just in fact getting in our way.

Although we despise Type B, Type C is actually the worst because of the fact that they are normally not saving time, but think they are. Where as Type B doesn’t know any better. In this perfect world all the type B, and type C would be sent to a separate school, which would affectionately become known as “school 2”. Here type B ,and C people would be allowed to make their own decisions and have their own ideas, unless these ideas or decisions are wrong. Then the Type B, C would be notified of their stupidity and forcefully taught to never make that decision again. At “school 2” each child would be hooked up to a generator and forced to ride a stationary bicycle for 12 hours. Their energy would be converted into U.S. standard 9 volt, and used to run school 1 (where the type A’s go). I think this will solve 3 problems:

A. Free energy.

B. Get rid of type B, and C and

C. Give type B, and C something to compete over.

A conversation in “school 2” might go like this…
“Hey John yesterday I put out 96 Kilowatt hours”
“Ha.. That’s nothing I put out 150 ”

Of course they might not know what watts, and such are, but they could just go on numbers.
Type B, and C could also be upgraded and downgraded as they progresses with their lives. The same is true for type A, they could be downgraded if they got in my way, or did something stupid.  


Don't lose you head By Greg Leo<11-24-00>
Doctors are blaming a rare electrical imbalance in the brain for the bizarre death of this chess player whose head literally exploded in the middle of a championship game!

No one else was hurt in the fatal explosion but four players and three officials at the Moscow Candidate Masters' Chess Championships were sprayed with blood and brain matter when Nikolai Titov's head suddenly blew apart. Experts say he suffered from a condition called Hyper-Cerebral Electrosis or HCE. He was deep in concentration with his eyes focused on the board," says Titov's opponent, Vladimir Dobrynin. "All of a sudden his hands flew to his temples and he screamed in pain. Everyone looked up from their games, startled by the noise. Then, as if someone had put a bomb in his cranium, his head popped like a firecracker."

Incredibly, Titiov's is not the first case in which a person's head has spontaneously exploded. Five people are known to have died of HCE in spontaneously exploded. Five people are known to have died of HCE in the last 25 years. The most recent death occurred just three years ago in 1991, when European psychic Barbara Nicole's skull burst. Miss Nicole's story was reported by newspapers worldwide, including WWN. "HCE is an extremely rare physical imbalance," said Dr. Anatoly Martinenko, famed neurologist and expert on the human brain who did the autopsy on the brilliant chess expert. "It is a condition in which the circuits of the brain become overloaded by the body's own electricity. The explosions happen during periods of intense mental activity when lots of current is surging through the brain. Victims are highly intelligent people with great powers of concentration. Both Miss Nicole and Mr. Titov were intense people who tended to keep those cerebral circuits overloaded. In a way it could be said they were literally too smart for their own good."

Although Dr. Martinenko says there are probably many undiagnosed cases, he hastens to add that very few people will die from HCE. "Most people who have it will never know. At this point, medical science still doesn't know much about HCE. And since fatalities are so rare it will probably be years before research money becomes available."

In the meantime, doctors urge people to take it easy and not think too hard for long periods of time, and to take frequent relaxation breaks when you're doing things that take lots of mental focus.

Although HCE is very rare, it can kill. A "yes" answer to any three of the following seven questions could mean that you have HCE:

1. Does your head sometimes ache when you think too hard? (Head pain can indicate overloaded brain circuits.)
2. Do you ever hear a faint ringing or humming sound in your ears? (It could be the sound of electricity in the skull cavity.)
3. Do you sometimes find yourself unable to get a thought out of your head? (This is a possible sign of too much electrical activity in the cerebral cortex.)
4. Do you spend more than five hours a day reading, balancing your checkbook, or other thoughtful activity? (A common symptom of HCE is a tendency to over-use the brain.)
5. When you get angry or frustrated do you feel pressure in your temples? (Friends of people who died of HCE say the victims often complained of head pressure in times of strong emotion.)
6. Do you ever overeat on ice cream, doughnuts and other sweets? (A craving for sugar is typical of people with too much electrical pressure in the cranium.)
7. Do you tend to analyze yourself too much? (HCE sufferers are often introspective, "over-thinking" their lives.)


Review: Every Breath You Take by the Police By ÜberMike <1-7-00>
I would bet that the Police were probably the most successful rock group to introduce reggae into mainstream music. They were formed in England in 1977 by Steward Copeland and Sting (born Gordon Sumner),who later went on to have a huge solo career, with Andy Summers joining on guitar later on. They formed the same year as the Sex Pistols and one year before the Clash, and while they definitely had a punk attitude and the music had a punk tinge to it, they were more palatable to radio than either the Sex Pistols or the Clash would ever be. The Police were one of the most popular rock bands in the '80s who played benefit concerts for organizations like
Amnesty International and played venues in countries that did not receive many foreign rock & roll outfits like Thailand, India, Mexico, Greece and Egypt. The group started out with their debut album, Outlandos d'Amour, which slowly rose to #6 on the U.K. charts. Later, songs like "Message in a Bottle", "Don't Stand So Close to Me", and "De Do Do Do De Da Da Da" established them as superstars in the musical world. In 1981 they sold out Madison Square Garden, were awarded Best British Group at the first Brit Awards and won three Grammys. Shortly thereafter, the band members decided to take a hiatus and pursue solo projects. In 1983 they released Synchronocity which took multi-platinum status in America and Britain and the band supported the album with a record-breaking world tour that set the standard for superstar concerts in the '80s. After that, they took another break, but never got back together. They all split up and pursued solo careers, but Sting picked up most of the support. This album, Every Breath You Take, highlights their illustrious career with some of their classic songs over their 5 studio albums. It showcases all of their aforementioned hits along with other important songs. My only complaint is the songs seem a bit formulaic and they end every song by fading out chanting the chorus, which becomes a bit tedious after a while; but that chanting technique drills the song into my head, so maybe they did it on purpose. I actually would have rather picked up Outlandos d'Amour, or any other studio album, because I generally don't like "Best Hits" albums as much as studio records, but this cd is a great overview of the Police's career. Usually, I don't think "Best Hits" albums portray bands as they truly are, by just featuring some of the most popular (which may not be the best) songs. For example "The Story of the Clash Vol. 1" was pretty good except for the fact that the songs were presented out of chronological order, so it was hard to discern the band's musical evolution. Anyways, I'm rambling on a bit, and the main point is that all of the songs on here are rock classics (except "Don't Stand So Close to Me '86" and the new classic rock mix of "Message in a Bottle"). On VH1's Top 100 Rock Musicians of All Time Poll, the Police ranked as #10 and if you pick up this album you'll find out why.

Featured song
"Roxanne" - Download a sample (You need Real Audio for this sample)


Weird News Quiz By ÜberMike <1-5-01>
This idea just kind of popped into my head while I was reading some weird (yet true!) news stories online. I'm sure most of you that I talk to will know where I get these stories from, and if not, I'm sure the lot of you are all resourceful enough to find out. Now, on to the quiz.

#1)  Michael Greene, president of the Grammy-sponsoring National Academy of Recording Arts & Sciences, said "He's got some pretty screwed up ideas in his head, and that's why this record is probably the most repugnant record of the year, but in a lot of ways it's also one of the more remarkable records of the year" about what artist?
A)Ricky Martin  B)Eminem  C)Sisqo  D)Marilyn Manson

#2)  What kind of animal shoved Waheeb Hamoudah off of a three-story building in Egypt and killed him after Hamoudah was preparing to fatten it up for Eid al-Adha, the Muslim feast of sacrifice, in early March?
A)Drunk ox  B)Sober ox  C)Camel  D)Sheep

#3)  Over New Years Weekend, two members of a gang of Brazilian car thieves may have drank vials of what, thinking it was a liquid yogurt? They stole this substance from a worker at a medical laboratory in the remote western state of Rondonia.
A)Liquid yogurt  B)Urine  C)HIV infected blood  D)Snake venom

#4)  A laundromat owner in the Welsh seaside town of Tenby is in trouble with the law after youngsters were caught doing what in his laundromat?
A)Daring who could spin in the dryer the longest  B)Stealing people's clothes  C)Jamming the coin slots with trash (brings back memories of Walton vending machines)  D)Daring who could spin in the washer the longest

Here are the answers.  #1-B  #2-D  #3-C  #4-A. I have created a scale below so you can figure out your rank based on how many you got right.
If you got 0 right......you are an average joe.
If you got 1 right......you are smarter than the average joe.
If you got 2 right......you are lucky.
If you got 3 right......you are a news addict.
If you got 4 right......you are a genius/cheater.


Friedman was right By ÜberMike <1-3-01>
Just by knowing Friedman was right about the apocalypse, you know the end of the world is coming. And yes, it would seem as if the apocalypse is coming. Take a look around the world. The U.S. economy is going down the toilet. I suppose the gasoline crisis earlier this year foreshadowed what would happen. Recently, you've heard of all the "dot com" companies folding (don't worry, we're not going anywhere, unless Lycos goes bankrupt, in which case we'll put this page on Mr. E's server) and earlier in December, when Microsoft announced that their profits would be slowing, it caused a huge sell-off in tech stocks. All together, technology seems to be having a hard year in the year that it was supposed to prove itself and show how important it was in the global economy; Amazon.com was not raising enough profits, Gateway has to get rid of their old line of computers at VERY low prices because they are going to have a hard year (and I thought I heard that CDnow had gone bankrupt but apparantly they're still up.) Yesterday on ABC News I saw a segment about how you are getting less for your money. Take a bag of potato chips. You're getting an ounce less for the same price as last month. To disguise this, companies are shrinking the packaging. But this isn't considered unfair marketing practices because as long as the company states how much is in the bag, you have the opportunity to find out how much you're getting for your money. What's all this due to? The slowing economy. Harsh weather all around us; 2" of snow in Georgia, which as Friedman disdainfully remarked, shut down everything. Worse winter weather hit in Arkansas and the states there causing a state of emergency. And in California and the Northwest, they were stuck without electricity for sometime. In Washington, a big source of their energy is hydroelectric power, but they have a drought and they've been forced to import water for their electricity. I don't think I'll get into crime because frankly there has always been substantial amounts of crime to condemn the human race for being idiots and there always will be. Now onto society and culture. I know everyone has the right to the 1st amendment, but Eminem, who is undoubtedly talented, degrades women and homosexuals in his songs, and he is praised by teens who think he is either "the most amazing rapper" or the "hottest guy in the world". I don't think I need to add anything about John Rocker. Kids are being lambasted by hatred and bigotry from people who are role models for them. It's funny too because it seems that people are escaping their reality by watching (fantasy) reality shows like "Survivor", (and upcoming!) "the Mole", and "Survivor II". It's almost as if they know whats happening out there but they would rather ignore it and watch some people form tribes, argue, kick each other out, and one supreme winner emerges victorious all in the name of money - art imitating life. So what to do in the face of the 4 horsemen? Well, my suggestion would be get down on your knees and start praying. But I wondered what Friedman was thinking since he first suggested the oncoming apocalypse. I had a chance to sit down with him and here's what he had to say*

Me: Hello
Friedman: Hi
Me: Random question; What would you do during the apocalypse?
Friedman: What?
Me: You know, your article about the oncoming apocalypse...
Friedman: Oh. Umm....I don't know...I haven't really thought about it...
Me: I see....well give me something off the top of your head.
Friedman: I don't know. I need time to think about it.
Me: No. I need this for my article today.
Friedman: Come back later.
Me: No dammit. Now.
Friedman: Go away.
Me: I hate you.
Friemdan: I hate you too.
At this point....we both degenerated to calling each other names and various curse words and we ended up nowhere.

* This is not what he had to say; In fact, this conversation never took place.